It can feel difficult to assert boundaries with others. We can feel as though we are being "selfish" or should be more caring and do more to help, which can push us to our limits and leave us feeling exhausted and (often quietly and self critically!) resentful. However being compassionate to ourselves and others requires clear boundaries. About what is and is not OK. Clarity about where we end and others begin, and what belongs in the past and in the present. And of course it takes great courage to assert these with others (and ourselves too!)
This video by Brene Brown summarises this dilemma perfectly, and highlights the absolute necessity of clear boundaries:
"I'm not as sweet as I used to be but I'm far more loving"